He Cheated...The Cycles of Life...Its OK to be angry

Over the past year, my life has taken a major detour. After O cheated and moved in with her, i was hurt, bitter, and VERY fucking confused; I was angry, sad, & questioning my worth. Basically i was going through and still am going through all the wonderful wonders of life. But then,i realized that that was just one cylce of my life and that it was NECCESSARY for it to end for me to grow. Once i became aware of this i became more aware of the connectedness of life patterns and all of its coincidences and wonders. One thing i've come to believe/understand is that everything that happens to us, in some shape or form, has been set out by your subconsious as lessons for us to learn from. I have not yet decided if i am a believer of past lives, but i would like to think that if its valid, that we are all energy, and once our physical is deceased, our soul/energy remembers all our past experiences and plans out the lessons that we must learn in our future physical incarnation. I feel that once we realize our lessons, the floods of awareness flow through your body like an orgasm from life consciousness... Be forwarned, you will almost become an addict once you pay note to the explosions that occur in your mind. Always wanting to know more, wanting to understand more, wanting to be more aware of the idea of the "Meaning" of existence, which is really to just exist.

I've made such a major leap towards my self growth and im loving it!... Im still hurt and angry, because its a bit frustrating to know that someone I spent 9yrs with, no longer exist in my eyes; But you know what, its ok to be angry and sad... that is what life is all about/filled with, for without the taste of anger and sadness we would not be able to defrentiate it from happiness. And why would you like to know only happiness... There would be no desire to learn more and see more and teach more... and understand more. So its ok that i am sad and angry, as long as its acknowledged and know that this anger and sadness shall pass... this i know....I am learning how to let go of dead energy only because i HAVE to, to live the life,love, new heartaches, and new kissses thats getting ready to blow my world away!

Note: "A fools gold only shines but for a second in time... While a true stone last forever in time." ----Aaza

Forgiveness:
In order for me to let go and accept pain, happiness, death, and my rebirth, i must forgive:

I've forgiven my heartaches, losses, & past misfortunes
I forgive myself for thinking being angry was wrong(its only a part of life)
I forgive O for his dishonesty
I forgive myself for not understand that O is who he is and not what i would like him to be
I forgive myself for not being the mother that i wanted to be
I forgive myself for thinking that i am not the mother that i should be
I forgive myself for years of low self esteem
I forgive myself for thinking that i could not stand on my own
I forgive myself for clinging on to something that died years ago
I forgive myself for taking so long to sincerely smile at my beauty!

Past Life Forgiveness:
I forgive my past soul/energy for allowing myself to get hurt because of my opinions.(i suspect that i've made connections with one of my past lives... could be all in my head, but the coincidences of life sometimes can be quite alarming)

Animal Spirit:
If you are aware of your surroundings like shadows and light and imageries that are constant in your life, you can actually connect the lessons that you've put out for yourself. I recently discovered my animal spirit for this new cycle of life that i have entered....

What's Your's? Click hereto find out.
Note: You can't choose it, it chooses you.
Connect the shadows, light, imageries
and be aware of your dreams.

ROTATION ON THE TUNES:

THE NOISETTES-- HEAVY ROTATION IN MY TUNES!!!! THE WHOLE FRIGGIN ALBUM!!!!! SHE IS MY WARRIOR GODDESS AND THEY ARE HER WARRIORS!!!

http://www.thenoisettes.com/

Bloc Party-- Prayer / Hunting for Witches
Mika- Grace Kelly
Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings-- Natural Born Lover
Amy Winehouse--- You know im no good
Lilly Allen --- Alfie
The Police-- Bring on the Night / Invisible Sun
Radiohead--Lucky / talk show host
Shuggie Ottis--- Strawberry Letter 23
Joni Mitchel - Help Me
SRCP--- Feel the base
Led Zeppelin-- When the Levee Breaks / Immigrant Song
Gil and Jorge--- Nega
Steely Dan-- The Royal Scam
Nancy Sinatra- Bang Bang
Janis Joplin-- Cry Baby
Dawn Penn-- No No No
Bob James-- Nautilus
George Benson--- Give me the night
Patrice Rushen- Haven't you heard
Grace Jones--- My Jamaican Guy
The Darkness--- I believe in a thing called love
Jet--- R u gonna go my way
Jimmi Hendrix--- Voodoo Child / Angel
Jackson Browne- Somebody's Baby
Fleetwood Mac--- Dreams
The Knack--- My Sharona
The Prigs-- Glass Slipper Shoes
Royksop--- Remind Me
Rolling Stones-- Miss You
Nucleus-- Jam on it
James Brown--- The Payback


Ok, thats it for now, but there is so much more!!!!!!
Peace and Understanding....

Aaza