"Grandmother"

My grandmother is dying. There is a big knot in my stomach. I don't know how to feel. On one hand i know this is a natural part of life, i should accept this transition and like my brother said, celebrate her life. Yet, on the other hand...i feel... lost. I've not been as close to my grandmother as i should be and now i feel like all the problems that i've given too much attention to has distracted me from the things that mean the most to human relationships.... family. I don't know how to feel... my body has been all in a twist these days.... trying to make sense of the physical tension that i've been feeling... and now, my grandmother is dying.... She's dying and she is ready to go... how do i feel? How do i let go of all that is destined to pass?

Aaza