"Ballet"

Took my first ballet class in years today... I felt like an idiot. While everyone in the class had their shit together, i was looking around dumbfounded. Didn't know my left from my right... didn't know a Chassé from a Pas de Bouré. But placing my hands on the barre made me so nostalgic. Made me really regret ever walking out on my first love. Don't know if she'll accept me back into her world of melody in motion... I cried when i left the class... This was something that i knew how to do in my sleep... I was always top of the class. There would be photographers that would come in and take pictures of me in class because i was that good... and then... i dropped it... Beacause i was mad... mad at my mother for not caring, mad at my father for leaving and mad at myself for what reason, still to this day escapes me... My instructors were mad and sad... but i'm sure they knew that i would reach this day...today... regretting that day that i said goodbye... The moves were so foreign to my body... i cried... i cried so hard and i could not believe that i cried... on the steps of of an apartment building... I called my sister because i needed an ear... I cried and cried until she said "you can not live in the past... you can not let the past control you... YOU MUST NOT LIVE IN REGRET because that will be your downfall... Once you live in regret, you will never be able to see what it is that we have gained from your experiences... and you will never be able to see the beauty and talent that is within you." This goes far beyond my regrets for leaving Ballet.

Thanks sis

...Life presents itself in its most ominous hours. When one chooses the road less traveled or the road that meanders into hidden corners, stay focused because at the end there will be so many inner journeys to share with the self and with those looking for guidance...Aaza