Loosing Yourself

I once told someone not so long ago to not loose herself in others, as i had realized that i'd lost myself foolishly in love, and gathering the pieces back together can be somewhat time consuming and problematic. I think the proper use of forgiveness is something that is at times overlooked.... whether it is given in abundance or not at all, i think we should analyze what forgiving is and how to properly use it in order to heal yourself from any hurt that one may have imposed upon you. We sometimes tend to think that forgiveness in others is a sign of a kind and strong heart... But that is not always true... My adopted grandmother once told me that i should always be number 1 in my book... no matter how much you love someone, remember to love yourself more! and that is not being selfish, its being a strong individual; knowing what you will and what you wont stand for.  I didn't put myself first, and didn't love myself enough to realize that i had lost myself.  My dependencies on an individual was so strong that i didn't know when to say enough and walk away...nor did i want to. So i forgave in abundance. I believed that if you were in love, then the act of forgiving was the key element to a strong bond between you and your partner. I had also been on the other end of forgiving and felt somewhat obligated to return the favor.  I locked myself in a perpetual cycle that was damaging to my mental well being. I often found myself tearing over the same apologies and promises and when i realized that YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE ANYONE, it was too late. I had been used up and thrown aside, alone to fend for my heart ache.

No matter how hard you try and no matter how much your partner knows that they've hurt you, change is a cry that is never heard. Once an individual reaches a certain age, their pattern is embedded in their being and the only change that is possible, is for you to walk away!!! The problem is that love is a force to be reckoned with and it can surely blind someone for a long period of time. My case, 10 years! This blinding light is what makes you loose yourself. You've thrown caution to the wind, gathered all that you want to see, and left the warning signs behind. And while your being manipulated, you think its love, and your kind act of forgiving.

To loose yourself in someone can truly be heartbreaking, because like me, it can take years before you realize it and years before you put the pieces back together after the fantasy has been shattered.

NEVER LOOSE YOURSELF IN OTHERS!!!! hold fast to who you are and always make yourself number in your book. Know what you will and wont stand for!!! Know what love and respect is!!! Know that you always deserve the best and no less!!!

As for the individual i told not to loose herself.... well.... when the light dims, just remember to have a good emotional support system.



Open your eyes to light and form, and self beauty

ROSE QUARTZ: Pink quartz (rose quartz) allows you to be in touch with your basic self. It will allow you to get to know your true self and to love that true self in all its beauty.

Peace and Understanding
Aaza