Someone i Love

I have a question to ask you. Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever thought about someone that you once shared yourself with? Was it for a day or at least a few hours? And the moment you realize that you've been thinking about this person, someone you cared for and still care for, you begin to think about all those special moments that you've shared. And you smile. And then... a phone call. You answer the call, and you smile, almost laughing... I know it has happened to you because it happened to me today. When i heard his voice, my heart floated and my subtle gigling was so childlike... He asked my why i was laughing and i told him i was just so happy to hear from him. I wanted to tell him that i was thinking about him all day, and that i missed him. I even thought of sending him an email ealier today to tell him how i was feeling, but decided not to. Our relationship ended because i was not ready for the beauty that he had to offer me. He understood and we understood that there would always be love between us... always. He then said:

F.C: "Arabelle(that's me), i have something to tell you....Do you want to guess what it is?

Me: No... Wha is it?

F.C: I found someone.... Someone that loves me.

I could not believe the words that i was hearing... My heart sank, but i dared not ruin this moment for him, and so i continued laughing and told him how happy i was for him. And honestly... i was... I asked him who she was, where did they meet, and told him it was great news. And it was... I was on the bus when i got his phone call. As soon as i got off the phone with him, i cried all the way home.

I am trully happy that he has found love. He is truly an amazing soul and i am so blessed to have had the opportunity to be a part of his essence. I now know, he is a soul mate of mine. He'll always be a part of me...Always in my heart.

Listen to our song. its called Wet Questions. We listened to this one day for hours during a cold winters day till the sun set and the blue hue of early evening streamed through his window. He boiled water for tea, and prepared dinner for two. And we existed in the vibrations of love.



Open your heart to the love of loving

Peace and Understanding
Aaza

Existence, "GOD" and a glass of water

There has been many a debate on the word "GOD" because of cultural differences and beliefs. I tend to shy away from the use of that word because i feel it lacks universality. But for lack of a better communicative description, i will prescribe to the idea of the use of "GOD" for this very short entry.

What or Who is "GOD"? Well, Lets say that nothing in reality exist except for a glass of water. Some people may lean towards the idea that "GOD" is the glass. It is that superior force that holds everything, the water, within itself. And so everything exist within the confines of "GOD". I tend to lean towards the idea that "GOD" is the water. I think the water is all that is and because this form exist, it allows the glass to therefore, exist. Without the water, the glass is formless and so it becomes a product of the water. The glass serves no purpose without the presence of the water. "GOD" would have no purpose without all that Exist. But then i think, well if the glass is a product of the water, "GOD" exist because of all the elements that resides within this realm of matter, then, what is the product of "GOD"? This other essence that resides within the realm of its environment... the space beyond the glass, would make the notion of Existence, "GOD", Form and Reality mathematical... infinite.

Just a thought... will build on it.

Open your awareness to the idea that all is...you can not take away from it nor add to it for you are a part of it and therefore.. you are it.

Peace and Understanding
Aaza

Enlightenment

i think i got it.... I've had issues with using the word enlightenment because i feel its such a subjective word, yet goes hand in hand with spirituality. I think the path of spirituality is the path of awareness. This awareness is the task one must undergo to gather the understandings of the self and that which exist, that which makes every single string of energy whole, that which expands and contracts... the breath of existence. once we've excelled at our tasks here on this earthly plane, then we've reached enlightenment.

Enlightenment to me is the acceptance of love and death and the understanding that love and death are one in the same. For the acceptance of death is the release of self to a higher awareness which brings you to the understanding of the essence of love. Once you release all that does not matter, all that is temporary here on this plane of existence, and connect to your inner being... that ethereal cord that bridges you to all that exist becomes so amazingly vivid that you begin to experience super nova's of enlightenment ... And then you begin to realize that you exist somewhere else and yet exist where you are and exist in the vibrations of love and death.... the release of self...


Sema bound with two plants, the papyrus and the lotus. The papyrus represents Lower Egypt and the lotus represents Upper Egypt. The Sema is the union of the upper and the lower, the spiritual and the physical. Yoga and Sema are one in the same. your inner union.


Release all that is temporary
Peace and Understanding
Aaza

Sad Windows

Do you want to know what i wish for? Sometime i wish i can just get out of myself and take a good look and say "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!"... Crazy right. But im sure you can imagine what its like to be bombarded with thoughts that sometimes just does not feel right. I remember writing in a poem once about my mental tantrums and thinking that one day it will stop. Especially as i get older. It's not as constant as it once was, but i think as i got older i learned how to tuck it away in an inactive corner of my mind. Someone pointed something out to me the other day... He said my eyes look so very sad. He said i smile a lot, but my eyes.... they look so sad... as if i am hiding something. I've become aquatinted with this man as of recently and have not conversed with him much. But for some reason he felt compelled to tell me this...and when he revealed what it was... i cried because he knew. Only he has ever spoken those secrets to me, but i resisted with all my force to keep it hidden... but not deep enough to keep it from my inner being...

"SHUT THE FUCK UP" is all i wanted to say to myself. There went my mental tantrums and so i did from myself. But he knew. They say the eyes are the window to the soul. Some have a clear view of what lies behind the windows. Behind a Magritte-esque window these mental tantrums are throwing bricks, screaming loud, and tearing every bit of memory limb by limb. But the bricks does not leave a scratch on the window, the screaming is as silent as a dream and the memories, well...they remain scattered, but the scattered pieces remain within the room behind a window that tells the story of my sad eyes.

open my eyes to what lies within
Peace and Understanding
Aaza

Across the Universe

...Let me take you down, 'cause im going to Strawberry Fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.
Strawberry fields forever...

Saw a beautiful movie this past weekend with a beautiful spirit and made me feel beautiful... Across the universe... nothing's gonna change my world.

The 60's is an era that for some reason, has always been a part of my being and im sure its been a part of yours. Something interstellar past through our galaxy during that decade that caused a conflicting relationship between Turmoil and Nirvana... today, this decade has been romanticized by its people, by its music, by its revolutions and its tears... romanticized by its offsprings. There were stars that crossed our universe during that decade and we continue to look up at its trails, awaiting another shower... awaiting another moment for a chance of a universal awakening.

Let your eyes be filled with imagination that sparks true reality.
Peace and Understanding
Aaza

Purgatory

I'm spending time in Purgatory, redefining my ideas of what it means to love, live and die. During my time spent here, i find myself emotionally affected by all the nuances of living memories, and hopes for a better vision and a better understanding of this innate desire to be seen and to be what is seen. My, how barren these Purgatory roads seem to be. But in the very far distance there are shadows that flicker every so often, giving me hopes of inevitably finding the form that shapes my future.



Open your eyes to the shadows that guide you.

Peace and Understanding
Aaza

21

...

Oh

I

I see

A beautiful me

In a Rose field complete

I be that Rose that you do seek

I be that Rose that stands complete with colors as white as Dove

I've grown from buds of natures skin to fill the empty space that follows a trail of petals paired to love.


Open your heart to order

Peace and Understanding
Aaza

The Fabonacci Sequence and the Golden Spiral

I bought myself some sunflowers today. In Typography class, my professor talked about the Fabonacci Sequence. It is a set of numbers that is defined by the summation of the previous sets of 2 numbers. This sequence starts at the value of zero then so forth. ex. 0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21,34,55,89... This reminded me of the "The Vetruvian Man", a drawing made by Leonardo Da Vinci which is based off of this sequence and the golden spiral, which you can find in a nautilus and so many forms of nature. They say that the Fabonacci sequence is actually the law of nature. It made me think of these flowers. My favorite kind and so i brought them home.

Open your eyes to the intelligence of nature which is way beyond our profound philosophies.


A Nautilus...Man... how beautiful is nature... Musically you should check Bob James' "Nautilus" . Superb instrumental. It Emanates nature. I wonder if he used the seqence...

Listen to Nautilus

Peace and Understanding
Aaza

"DIEGO"

"Diego" became physical on this day October 9th 2007. Not neccessarily real, but has somewhat personified himself in a personality. Who is "Diego" Aaza? You Ask. He is the one that will join me on my journey for many moons to come. It's actually sort of an ongoing joke with a very dear friend of mine. I told her, Aaza- "One day "Diego" is going to walk into my life and be my "Knight and Shinning Armor" Friend- "Who is Diego????" Aaza- " "Diego" represents the one that lives in my heart. I can almost see him. He ownes a townhouse apartment on a tree lined block. The apartment has a beautiful grand piano, situated by a bay window. In the evening right before night fall, when there is a blue shade streaming through, and when the rain falls, i sit by the window and listen to the ever so gentle strokes of the grand piano made by "Diego". At times, he strikes them hard. He plays for me on rainy days because he knows i love the sound of the drops against the window pane, against the trees, against the cement... And in this solitude of ours, there is a connection. He becomes my rain and i, his most endearing admirer for many many moons to come as he has stirred me whole. And in that tranference of emotions, we exist in union." Friend- "Girrrrrrrrrrrrrllllllllllllllll... seriously, when i think of "Diego" with his bay window and grand piano.......i see..... Karl Largafeld..... Friend and Aaza- :"..............LOL" So today my friends, "Diego" spoke to me etherially. He revealed a little of himself through an individual i converse with, He said to me today, "Diego"- You must know how to listen to "Something about us"(a song by Daft Punk).........(my friend is not american) Even though he is not the real "Diego", as no one could ever be as "Diego" is perfect, and in reality i would not want that; i feel the personality of "Diego" spoke to me and assured me that he is there. He said "Diego"- "Im not too far Lady Lourdes"..... (Lourdes is my middle name) Crazy thing, it was raining as i wrote this. So not intentional!!! :-) Here is a video i found that has the song "Something about us". Its a cartoon, but somehow, relevant Open your eyes to the possibility of Etherial Love Peace and Understanding Aaza

An Understanding

Oh how liberating it is to be so fluid with words! Yes my friends, words and i have made a connection. As little as it may be, i think i am on the road to forgiving the ever so bastardly characteristics of the english language. How did this happen, Aaza, you ask? Well, i think its because i made a connection with myself. My amazing comedic and astrologically in-tuned friend, Lucy D(ahem, check out her blog here) gave me a book and i think this is quite possibly one of the most eye opening books i've ever read! Though there are some things that i do not agree with, I feel this is one of those inspirational books that everyone should have in their library. Be you an atheist, a Buddhist, a christian, what say you, it is definitely one that will have you thinking. It's titled "Souls Perfection" by Sylvia Brown. This book touches on the things that riddles the mind of humankind from ancient time to present and future, throughout all walks of life. What is our purpose here on this so called physical incarnation of our ever so beautifully existing astral energy that connects us to the electric vibrations of an expansive universe? We humans have labeled it, decorated it, philosophized it, made it into a trend, fought over it, cried over it and still we question it. I think the reason why we still question it, is because we've made this simple aspect of flowing energy so complex, that we are looking for a complex answer to justify our complex ideas. When truly my friends, it is quite so simple... it is to just exist. Be that who you chose to be, but be watchful of your actions, and learn and grow, and love. But learn to teach, and grow to progress towards the perfection of your being, and love to understand that here on this plane, we are emotions incarnated into a physical body to gain a better comprehension of it all. And so there are no bad emotions. We go through them to be more aware of who we are as individuals and as a race of beings. Once we grasp that notion, than love is ever so flowing. Love of self, love of the universe and an overall understanding of what existing is becomes so simple.


Open your eyes to the simplicity of loving
Peace and Understanding
Aaza

The Broken Obelisk

The political unrest that presided over US society during the civil rights movement gave way to an amazing piece of artwork that not only conveys the turmoil of the era, but may also represent the broken promises, or the unifinished dream of a unified nation. The Broken Obelisk is emblamatic of the social struggles that a nation faced during the time of war and racial injustice. Both Structures are symbols of power; the pyramid embodies strength, and stability, while the obelisk is based off of the enduring structure and architecture of the pyramid. This obelisk stands in Washington DC and is a symbol of American democracy. The juxtaposing placement of these structures conveys the power sruggle between soical groups. Having the broken obelisk on top of the intact Pyramid, may represent the inevitable downfall of an imperfect government that chooses to hide behind its cloak of democracy while a nation fights against political, economical and social injustice.


What is art to you?
Peace and Understanding
Aaza

A BRIEF THOUGHT

I suffer, I cry, I smile, I enjoy your company, i am saddened in my lonliness. I dislike, I love, I scream in anger, I laugh in the joy of my being. I run away, I walk towards the colors of my rainbow. I cry, I smile, I cry, I smile, I cry, I smile. I've outgrown one pain to encounter another and yet i've perfected the tasks at hand and so I.... am.... PERFECT.


Open your mind to your perfection.
Peace and Understanding
Aaza

A BRIEF THOUGHT

I've come to a point in my transient state of understanding that the one truism in life is that all things do pass. This philosophy is sometimes overlooked, disregarded and taken for granted once we are in our pit of dispair. But what is also true is that dispair is a catalyst for change. Despair remains, always, in life... but what will not remain, are the affects of such despair on your state of mind for you will have past the test and progressed to a new challenge... This my friend, is an infinite cycle.

Open your mind to the endless possibilities of change.
Peace and Understanding
Aaza