"The Throne"

Programed to pour
the drink of the sore
programed to reach
heights beyond relief
the throne you desire
strayed you into the mire
into the dark
you see no light
into the light
you shut your sight

It's not they that do
it's what sewed in you
your doors are open
to souls that have stolen
legacies, histories, cultures
but you feed the vultures
the throne you desire
keeps you in the mire
who wears the crown
your scriptures hidden
in their ground
and you shut your sight
into the light
programed to pour
the drink of the sore


In awareness
Aaza

"A Brief Thought"

Build your legacies! Breakdown the distorted sytematic programing passed down through generational lies and trickery. Build your legacies with knowledge of self, community, culture and history! Build your legacies...for without them...we will truly die.

In awareness
Aaza

"9"

Turned 30 this year and am riding a new form of energy. I left a stage behind and now am treading a new path with new stones that i must hold in my hand and learn the reasons for their forms, their existence as a collective and their silent songs. I am a student. An apprentice to a voice that has been silenced but still resounds in the vibrations of this planets ether.

In the awareness of 9

Aaza

"What Grinds My Gears"

You give so much of yourself... and they take and demand more. You save a lil for yourself and they say you're full of yourself. It's all good. Still munching on a piece of myself if you don't mind...


In Awareness
Aaza

"A Feeling"

Back to nothing... need to recharge... inspiration...

In Awareness
Aaza

"A dream"

Those eyes were in my dreams last night. comforting. etched in my mind... the color of the Kalahari desert... Our kings await to be born.

In Awareness
Aaza

"what needs to be said"

You think you didn't, but you did. I never said a word. Just a smile and we continued to laugh. As you reminisced and made sure that i knew your eyes were following the curves of my small stature... no woman would be able to resist that stare... the touch. But as you whispered and stared and as we continued laughing... inside.... inside.... i.... closed the door, sat by a window and waited for the rain to fall... and though you may never know and never hear the sound of the door creaking or the silence as i sit somberly by the window... it is most certain that you will feel the rain fall. Whether it be today, tomorrow, in the distant future.... a drop will hit your skin and then you will know what you think you didn't do... but always know that i still love you, tucked and wrapped in a box... it will remain fresh in my mind to remain that way and not see the light of a another day.

In Awareness
Aaza

"Grays"

It hurts don't it
never to be able to see
the light of reality
because the days
have turned to shades
and living in its shadows
turned your purples to grays

So how do you stand
in the willows
in a land
that reacts to reactions
that reacts to imperfections
in the shadows of days
we see nothing but grays

The story ends when it begins
latching on to strings vibrating
in the process of time
in the process of divine
in the process of all that is
living in the awareness of nine

It hurst don't it
imageries fade
in the awareness of the past
hanging on the awareness of the present
so where is reality
in the shadows of days
where your purple have turned into grays

In Awareness
Aaza

"Flatlining"

Will someone please bring me back to life. I'm just about flatlining. Need to feel that rhythm in my stomach in my bones, in my blood. Need some nourishment for my soul. This reality seems barren and im just about dehydrated, loosing consciousness and at the point of hallucination. Will someone please pump the ancestral frequencies back into my strings.

In Awareness
Aaza

A Phone Call"

Phone calls sometimes can be the shortest and the best thing you would need to steer you back to your path or to just give you a different perspective. My brother called me earlier and spoke about companionship. At this point in my life, i feel like i could pass... just about given up on "Diego". But my big bro called, and though he has not convinced me that "IT" is truly out and will come only when i have opened up to it; i think i've at least decided to look back at the idea of companionship. The possibility of it. That until i am truly happy with who i am and what i have achieved and can achieve... it will wait patiently for my call.

In Awareness
Aaza

The Today Show and a lil Pill"

Every once in a while when i wake up in the morning at 7am, i turn on my tv which is usually set at chanel 4(i don't have cable... not much of a tv person). I turn on the Today show with Mat Lauer, Meridith Veirra, Al Rocker and that other lady. I usually turn it on to either know what time it is or check the weather. I sleep on my couch a lot, especially in these past few months. My alarm clock goes off at 5:45am and it is situated by my bed(a mattress). I dread getting up from my couch to walk to my bed to turn it off. But i do it most mornings. Most because like i said, i sleep on my couch a lot. I don't know why i have my alarm clock go off almost two hours before i have to get up. Maybe i like the sensation of waking and going back to an unconscious state, but not fully unconscious. Maybe i like the feeling of being aware that i am sleeping. Because for one hour i drift in and out of sleep and my body goes through many shifts... Sometimes i go back to full REM, sometimes i'm just floating above my body. Sometimes... i just lay there with my eyes closed. And when 7am hits, i know i have to be 85% awake, in this physical world. Remember being a kid, in the back seat of your parents car, on your way home, from an awesome day at the park, and the only reason you left the park was because the clouds got dark, and it started to rain? Remember that joyful fatigue. Half awake, and the motion of the car soothed you so much that you had to give in to the fatigue...but still could not find yourself deep into dreamland, because it just felt so good to be aware of how your body felt... the release and the awareness... that's how i wake up in the morning.

So every now and then, when 7 am hits, i turn on Mat, Meridith, Al, and the other lady. If you ever watch that show, i think you will agree with me that watching that show is like taking the blue pill. Remember what Morpheus said? "The story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe." Watching that show is like popping ten of those pills all at once. And the crazy thing is, millions of people across the nation watch that show. Their morning drug. Sedated for the rest of the day and reload the next morning. I used to be one of those millions and then something happened. I started taking one less pill every once in a while until i was down to none. I have not taken the red pill yet. Don't think i am completely prepared for that kind of awareness.

Not yet. soon come.

In Awareness
Aaza

A Brief Thought"

We're living in the process of conception.

In Awareness
Aaza

Stress and Ethical responsibility"

For the past couple of weeks, i've been stressing. Last days of this semester and things are being piled on top of one another. Have not been sleeping much. Have not been taking care of my health much. My body is in the shits right now. My friend said that her spiritual adviser told her that the best doctor is sleep. I need to schedule an appointment ASAP! This semester will be done in 4 days! Whohoo! I hope to do a lot within the next three months. With the new art skills that i learned in this semester, i plan to strip down my walls and create new art for them.

Been thinking about my career these days... another thing that has been heavy on my mind. When i decided to go back to school, i though i knew exactly what i would do once i completed the program. But now, because of lecture classes that i have taken in school, because of me becoming more aware of my spiritual responsibility, i find that i am having difficulties grasping my initial goal. At this point, i don't think i would like to do any brand design or advertising. I think its ethically irresponsible of someone who is on a path to awareness. I can't see myself being a part of an institution that lives off of the manipulation of the masses psychology to make them feel that in order to validate their value, they must partake in culture of consumption. Consumption that is not relevant to life. Consumption of artifacts that becomes absolute in the matter of seconds in this digital era. Consumption that only leads the mind to a deeper spiritual enslavement to the material culture. I care not to be a part of that. I was having a conversation with a stranger yesterday about ethical responsibilities. He quoted Cornell West and said(paraphrasing), "if you want to be ethical, know that you will not be financially successful. So choose wisely." I have pondered on that. In fact i have already factored that idea into my daily life. I want to be on my path of awareness. It is so much sweeter to know that i will provide spiritual nourishment rather than spiritual degradation. Some may find that off and think i'm crazy, but most great leaders and thinkers treaded that path. I hope to one day incorporate what i have learned as a designer/artist into my goal as a spiritual guide to anyone who wants it.


In Awareness
Aaza

How Sweet"

Tonight Farrell told me.... "you have a nice blackness to you"... I thought that was sweet.

In Awareness
Aaza

"Facebook comment with my Auntie Fabiola Jean-Gilles"

Fabiola:
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Her Friend Commented:
life is to live, not to exist.

Fabiola:
If you just exist you are not living. You Also get to decide how u live it.

Aaza:
to exist is to be aware...to be conscious for one cannot exist if one is not aware of its existence. to live is to act on that awareness... the problem that we encounter is that we are not fully conscious... therefore we are not living to our full potential... to live in SYSTEM such as the one we walk in everyday creates allusions of living because we are directed on a daily basis on how to live. Like you said Auntie, we are a part of system!! one that we MUST escape from to truly taste the sweet fruit of awareness!

Fabiola:
U are so right!


In Awareness
Aaza

"Letter to the Victimized Black Men" "

A letter i wrote to a friend:

you need to realize that the world problems does not revolve around black american problems... how dare you assume that no one can ever understand racism because they've never experienced what the african American black man experiences... i'm never one to compare, but while you left one borough, i had to leave a country and live in a another that looked down on haitians... we were ignorant, boat people and aids infested.... not only did we get this from whites but people like you who only think the american black man has suffered racism. you don't even realize how fucked up it is that i can't even walk down the streets by myself in my own country!!! and having to give up my citizenship or else i wont get certain benefits!!!!

How dare you assume that i don't know about racism!!! how dare you compare any body's suffering to another persons suffering... you want to live your life as victim, go ahead... relive the past and use that as an excuse to hate! that only causes problems for you!! cuz while you are hating the White Men, he ain't worried about your hatred for him.... he is progressing and picking out our knowledge and claiming it as his... so while you are hating and using your religion to justify your hate, he is laughing at you cuz all you are doing is causing more separation and holding yourself back from spiritual progression. but you don't see it as that....that's fine...

How dare you say that i am angry at the black man! I love my brother, have a great relationship with him... i love my father, i love my male cousins ... i love all the black men that are important in my life.... me caring for a white man has nothing to do with my relationship with you!!!! NOTHING!!!! I don't hate black men... i despise IGNORANCE AND HATE!!!!

and you talk about me being Europeanized???? that some made up bullshit!!!! what about you??? Your not walking around with an african garb r u??? got a suit and bow tie! to represent your religion!!!!!! where's your turban???? Don't even speak the language!!!!you want to use that term, than consider yourself Europeanized as well!!!

I'm not built to hate!!! that is not a part of my journey here!! You can go live your life and teach hate but there is no progression when you have that to offer!

all of that shit you were saying was just regurgitated lines that i have heard so many times before!!!! when will you step out of that?!!!!

And you don't have to agree with and you can come up with any "Victims" excuse to justify your cause, but i ain''t a victim and don't you dare try to make me one!


In Awareness
Aaza

"Confirmation"

So i guess i'm not bugging out after all. I say this because for some time now i have been seeing shadows in my apartment. I always brush it off as just my imagination. I have a very heavy imagination! and it is non stop, so seeing shadows to me was just my head playing with me. But for the past few months its been too often. I never see it straight forward, always at the corner of my eye and very quick. Farrell spent the night last night and we did our typical late night conversation on political issues and spirituality. On the subject of spirituality, I asked him if he ever sees anything... ask myself why i asked that. wasn't thinking about my shadows at all. He responded with "yeah... all the time. see one here all the time". You can imagine how i was feeling at that point. I asked him what he meant... He said that he sees a shadow crossing my apartment from one end to the other end closer to my door... that is where i usually see the shadow. For some reason, i started crying. ask me why and i couldn't for the life of me tell you. He said it was a female spirit just walking through. He asked me if i was afraid. Not at all. Not at all. Most of the time i'm alone in my apartment feeling lonely and always questioning my world. I've always felt that there was something in my apartment floating around and i guess Farrell confirmed it and i guess... its a bit comforting to know someone is around.

The night before Farrell stayed over i saw a bright light. In the same manner as the shadow. Corner of my eye, and fast.


In Awareness
Aaza

"Conversation with Greg Duenas"

Greg:
KYMATICA (On Google video, powerful film.) When you have time.

Aaza:
Hotep Sir,

Thanks for the info... powerful ... Perfect timing!

Aaza:
Tell me why people always want to prove first and foremost that they KNOW things!! I showed the documentary to a couple of friends and the first thing out their mouth is "don't you already know this" or "somebody else said this"... It's interesting how strong the ego is within the human body. I mean, coming from where we came from... this is nothing new, but we still find it relevant and can still find jewels in the message... The wise man knows that he knows nothing at all... while the arrogant lives in egotistical ignorant bliss.

Greg:
Azza, it really is just the fragility of the monstrosity called the human ego.

The average human that you walk up to on the street really don't know much of anything, some may know small bits and pieces of that type of information, but most could not reiterate or even expound in any great detail or depth.

Most still think the sun actually sets, Jesus was real, The myth of "al Qaeda and the list just goes on and on, I could literally write a book on the sillyness humans believe in 2009.

Most humans have yet to even find the "Off Button" in their minds. But , yet they KNOW so much.
This is NOT to sound like I'm some great master teacher above the next human no, it's just the facts

Jay Leno's segment called " Jay Walking." proves this. Americans are the most technologically advanced idiots on planet earth, that may sound harsh but it's very true, look how Dumb Down American culture is.

How long have we been singing the pledge of Allegiance and still think we live in a democracy but it clearly states and to the what?? And to the REBUBLIC for which it stands, How many never noticed that.

Americans went out and voted in masses cause they are uninformed, imagine the message that would've of been sent if the masses stayed home?

Azza, What I've come to realize is this, some are afraid and confused, they really don't know the truth of what's taking place, and others know, but they won't say. I'm in this thing for the long haul, so many fell away from the path of truth when the nation fell, they fell right along with him, now it's all about money, sex or just playing the "normal" life game.

They are going to have murder me before I shut up, then after that I'll be back again!

Trust me when I say, most humans are devoid of life transformation information that transfigures one from a human into a God.

They are playing a game of pretend. Hotep

Aaza:
I think it's hard when one has the false sense of knowledge. One thing that i have noticed is that everyone has biases. Whatever your race may be... It's innate within us to search for information that will validate our identity/​history/​mystory.​ One thing that stands out for me in the documentary is that information is information. It is up to the individual to acknowledge the importance of the information and assess whether or not such information is false or true by research! Not by EMOTIONAL research. The problem with individuals who feel that they KNOW is that whatever knowledge they have at times stagnates them from reaching a higher level of understanding. They are their own worst enemy because the idea of starting new with a fresh awareness to absorb new information... to sit back and LISTEN and be a student.. is ludicrous to them.
That is how strong a hold the ego has on an individual. It's one thing to not be aware... its spiritually dangerous to choose to not be aware... and that is that path that most intellects choose to tread.

Greg:
Look you at you! With your wise self, you write like a Sage.

Excellent reply!! I could not have said it better my self.

Very proud of you young lady :)

My door (heart) is always opened to you.

Hotep Azza

Stay on ur path

----------------------

Thanks Greg.... My brother .... I shall stay on that path...

Aaza